From the desk of Rabbi Alex Greenbaum

Numbers 20:10, Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly before the rock and said, “Hear now, you rebels, as we are about to bring you forth water from this rock!” Because of this moment, Moses was not allowed to enter the Promised Land; but, the question is why such a serious punishment? The Torah seems to focus on the hitting. God commanded Moses to speak to the rock, not hit it. So, was the hitting the sin? Many of us were taught just that, but it can't be. We need to remember back, in the book of Exodus, right after our exodus, God did tell Moses to hit a rock to bring forth water. The hitting now could have been an innocent mistake.

Some commentators blame Moses for taking credit for the miracle of the water from the rock, instead of giving credit to God. As Moses said, “Shall I bring forth this water?” rather than saying, “Shall God bring forth this water?” So, was the taking of the credit the sin? Last year, I said exactly that. This is what God says is the reason for the punishment, “Because you (Moses) did not make Me holy in the eyes of the Children of Israel.” But, we will see that there could be another way Moses did not make God holy in the eyes of the Children of Israel.

Talmud, Nedarim 22b, Loss of temper is disrespect for the Shechinah, God's sheltering presence. There are other commentaries on why Moses was punished at the rock. Moses was angry at people who had a legitimate complaint. They were thirsty and Moses allowed his temper to overwhelm him, not only striking at the rock instead of speaking to it, but striking out at the people, “Hear now, you rebels!” Talmud, Pesachim 66b, Simeon ben Lakish, Anger deprives a sage of his wisdom, a prophet of his vision.

Moses lost control of his anger and when our leader could no longer manage self-control it became time for God to appoint a new leader, Joshua, to take us into the land of Israel. Mishnah, Avot 5:11, there are 4 kinds of temper: 1) Easy to provoke and to pacify - the gain cancels the loss. 2) Hard to provoke and to pacify - the loss cancels the gain. 3) Hard to provoke and easy to pacify - this is a Chasid, a saintly person. And, 4) Easy to provoke and hard to pacify - this is a wicked person. Even a saint can be provoked, even a saint gets angry. And aren’t we taught, in this day and age, that sometimes anger is a good thing? That a person needs to display his or her anger? That too much self-control will lead to anger building up and exploding out uncontrollably? That expressing your anger is positive for psychological health?

So, Judaism comments on anger management. We are taught that every human being is born with two inclinations, a good inclination (the yetzer hatov) and an evil inclination (the yetzer hara). Picture the angel and the devil on each of your shoulders whispering in your ears. Months ago, we learned that without anger we would never fight injustice. Without anger, we would stand by passively as wrongs are being committed. Sometimes anger leads to passion. Therefore, Judaism, the religion of moderation, says “Yes,” even to anger; but, it must be in moderation.

The problem is not anger, but uncontrolled anger. Avot 4:1, Ben Zoma, Who is smart? One who learns from all people. Who is rich? One who is happy with their lot in life. Who is honored? One who honors their fellow people. And, who is strong? One who controls themselves. Rabbi Michael Gold once said, A worthy life is a life of self-control and self-discipline, a life of moderation. Our objective is not to remove anger altogether, but to limit its time and place.

How can we learn to control our anger? Perhaps we can take a moment and think before we communicate, we can recognize our own anger and learn to be patient. Peace is a choice. Perhaps we can be a bit more empathetic and put ourselves in the other person's shoes, we can even learn to forgive. Perhaps we could try not to see the world in such black and white terms and realize that there is always another side, always another way to look at the same situation. We can look for the positives, that too is our choice. Perhaps, we can learn an important lesson from Moses. It is never too late.

Rabbi Alex Greenbaum

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